why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm too high and old for this...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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