You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
