moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
