At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
