just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
