Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
