His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just had sex on a roof
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
