Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
