sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
