ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
