I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
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