i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
