just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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