I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
