I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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