During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
