I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
