problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize