told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize