Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
