I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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