Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Its about making memories worth repressing
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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