im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
