drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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