i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
