I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
