She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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