is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
