Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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