we were pretty classy up until the second keg
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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