I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
