I'm lost and stupid without you.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
