why didn't you poke me back
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
