the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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