i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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