he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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