I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
