I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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