Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
