i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
