I think I won the penis lottery.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
