I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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