The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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