I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize