with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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