We're facebook friends in real life
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize