this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
operation have a gay friend backfired
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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