I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
