Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
