just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So many bounce houses so little time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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