She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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