so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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