Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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