**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
