office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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