My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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