reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
