Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
