God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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